Films I Probably Won't Review

Honestly, we already have several reviews of most of these, but perhaps some of you would also like to buy them and just need that little jog to your memory.

Already bought:

Silent Hill.

I'm not linking to purchase places because I got mine at my local Hollywood Video, which currently has several 4 for $25 sales on previously viewed dvds. Besides, I personally never buy things on Amazon.com. I'm too cheap.

I was a little disappointed in this one in the theater because of the ending, but it was fun to watch again on dvd. I knew what to expect, so I just enjoyed the good parts and swore violently at the lack of a soundtrack available for sale (you can get them for the games, though). I love the industrial clanking and hissing and the sirens. Plot also makes slightly more sense once you've played or (in my case) read up on the games.

Resident Evil: Apocalypse.

Continuing the theme of movies based on games I've never played. I wanted the first one to go with it, but we couldn't find it.

Good ol' brainless elimination/action hybrid, nothing unexpected but still rather fun even for those of us less enamored of naked Milla Jovoviches. Unfairly enough, all the pictures I find are of her and none are of Nemesis, my own favorite character. Boo.

Final Fantasy: Advent Children.

You know, Sephiroth is only in this movie for about ten minutes, and yet he was a major motivating factor in the buying decision. So... Pretty...

Ahem. The animation is quite lovely and the action is fun to watch, even if the characters are somewhat cute and shallow. I'm looking for an inexpensive copy of the game, too.

Watching on ebay:

Versus.

Trenchcoat-clad zombie-fighting action in the Forest of Resurrection! Sure! Why not! The heck with making sense! Honestly, it's ridiculous how much the Sibs and I love this film. It's utterly incoherent and it takes around three viewings to get a clue regarding what's going on.

Favorite line: "Here's the thing. I'm a feminist."

Showdown in Little Tokyo.

It has Brandon Lee AND Dolph Lundgren. That's really all I, personally, need to know. Now, this one will probably get a review from me.

Hamlet.

The Kenneth Branagh version. Never seems to get any cheaper, which is unsurprising considering it's arguably the best cinematic version. Ethan Hawke was just bad at it, and Mel Gibson seems to have largely failed to comprehend the whole "Not an Action Movie" concept. This is not for any but the hardcore Shakespeare fan, as it incorporates the full content of the best quartos and is therefore around four hours long.

Watched on Netflix:

The Omega Man.

I think I liked The Last Man on Earth better. That one starred my hero Vincent Price, whereas this stars Charlton Heston and is nowhere near as interesting or as fresh. Actually they're almost the same movie. The last guy never is really the last guy, he's always the last guy except for the beautiful girl and the nasty mutants and often a few struggling survivors. Not that it really matters much. The human race is still doomed without a healthy breeding population larger than 50. My ecology professor told me so. ;)

Over the Hedge.

Cute, harmless, and largely forgettable. I enjoyed the newspaper strip, but it doesn't lend itself easily to a film-length feature. I think that turtle' s shell must be made of adamantium, by the way. It's obviously indestructible. Also, I will forever picture Avril Lavigne as a possum now.