A Lesson In Traveling

So I got a call yesterday from that friend of mine who was going to Brazil for three weeks. "Hey, man," I said, "how're the beaches? You been pickpocketed yet?"

"Dude, I'm in New York." he responds. And then he unfolds the following tale of woe...

The poor guy, who's been planning this trip for months, spends Christmas with his family and then flies to Brazil, arriving early Thursday. He immediately proceeds to customs, where he's asked for his visa. "Oh," he says confidently, "I don't need a visa, I'm just here on vacation." (He'd been there once before in college on a student visa, but that's because he was living there for 3 months.) To which he's promptly informed that you need a visa to come to Brazil for any length of time, vacation or otherwise... and without one, he absolutely cannot enter the country. Period. In desperation, my friend asks if there's anything at all he can do. Well, the customs official says, he can try flying to Argentina- you don't need a visa to get into that country and they have good relations with the U.S., so he could go to the customs office or embassy or whatever there and try to get a visa.

So that's exactly what my friend does: plunks down an extra $600 for a round-trip ticket to Buenos Aires from Brazil. He gets there on Friday and immediately goes to the customs office or embassy to see if they can grant him a visa. To which they respond that it's possible they could provide him with one... except that Friday happens to be an Argentinian holiday so the office isn't technically open, and it won't reopen until Monday. And since my friend bought a round-trip ticket, Monday ain't exactly an option. At this point he has a decision to make: wait around three days, blowing even more cash on hotel rooms and another plane ticket in the slim hope that he can get a visa (doubtful, since his birth certificate is locked in a bank here in Pennsylvania); or cut his losses, fly home, return to work early, and try to save up enough money in 2007 to try for Brazil again next Christmas.

Obviously he chose the latter, which entailed flying to Laguardia (apparently flight destinations from Brazil are limited), then to North Carolina to retrieve his car from a friend's house, then driving to his family's home in Virginia, then finally back to PA. At the time we talked on Saturday, he said he'd spent almost 36 hours on planes and hadn't changed his clothes in days, so he was just happy to be nearing the end of the ordeal. But honestly- here's a guy who has talked about nothing but Brazil for months; who researched flights, costs, destinations, and every conceivable aspect of Brazilian culture; who has been an utter cheapskate for half a year... and thanks to one mistake, he's just pissed away an ungodly amount of money in nonrefundable plane tickets and travel costs. (Out of respect for him I won't give the exact figure, but suffice to say it's several months' rent.) As he put it, "The worst part is, I can't blame anyone else for this; I'm the dumbass who didn't read the travel requirements carefully."

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is your lesson for today: always research the travel regulations for any place you plan on visiting. Don't be like my friend, the dumbass.

Justin's Netflix Queue (Top 12)

1. The Descent
2. MST3K: Mixed-Up Zombies
3.-5. Nightmares and Dreamscapes miniseries
6. Accepted
7. The Protector
8. American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile
9.-12. Undeclared: The Entire Series

Shalen's Review of Webcomics

Here I am in a blog, linking to a blog. How very recursive. Probably symbolizes the anomie of modern life or somesuch.

http://sickleyield.livejournal.com/7992.html

This is my livejournal page under my modding handle (SickleYield), today featuring a review of many of my favorite webcomics, what they are, where to find them, and what I think is noteworthy about each. I tend to read a lot of these at work because I am a bad person.

Cool.

Well, cool. This will be short because someone just woke up, but hey.

Hope everyone had a great holiday. We just got back, thus the silence from this quarter.

I really have nothing of substance to say. I just wanted to make an entry.

More Trailer Amusement

Smokin' Aces - A hitman action/comedy
Pan's Labyrinth - Will this next year see a resurgeance in fantasies?

Ho ho ho. Ho. Aaargh. Thud.

As I move on from my shock and horror at the amount I've eaten in the last four days, I share with you that Sib2 forced me to watch Heartbreakers with the rest of the family on Christmas Night. (The other option she offered us was While You Were Sleeping, which isn't all that funny and I've already seen it.)

I do not plan to review Heartbreakers, as it was a vapid piece of trash that belongs nowhere on a cult film site. It's not that I'm necessarily opposed to vapid pieces of trash, it's just that I prefer them to have guns and bleeding in them instead of Jennifer Love Hewitt staggering around in painful heels, tiny skirts, and pushup bras the wearing of which appears likely to cause permanent disfigurement. Sigourney Weaver has earned my pity once more, and Gene Hackman does not deserve what this film does to him.

Also, rigor mortis does not cause erections. It is caused by lockup of actin and myosin in human muscles which are not present in the penis; degradation of those protein interactions is what causes rigor to eventually pass off. An erection present on death in someone facing upwards would disappear moments later as blood pressure fell, unless they were left facing downwards for hours (allowing blood to pool over the whole front of the body incl. the genitalia).

Icky medical fact of the day brought to you by Shalen's House of Morbid Curiosity. Motto: Looking Up Things You Don't Want To Know.

Starlight, starbright...

I just heard about this today: Neil Gaiman's novel Stardust is coming to the big screen next year! I'm a huge fan of Gaiman (MirrorMask, Neverwhere) and this is a terrific little fantasy tale that might be a great addition to the genre.

Merry Christmas, PoolMan!

After that seamless PhotoShop job, thought you deserved a peek at the real thing, buddy. Happy holidays!

And apologies to all other guys seeing this... just focus on the cute girl in the middle.

Up and Down the California Coast: James Bond is Back!

Hey!

Just got back home to find a whole lotta stuff waiting for me, including a spiffy new Mutant Reviewers community blog. Hooray!

Vaguely Film-Related Anecdote: after spending more than a week drifting in and out of towns big and small along the California coast, I'm happy to report that a great deal of cinematic small talk revolved around the excellent 'Casino Royale.' A lot of the smaller, independent movie theaters, especially the Fremont in San Luis Obispo and the newer theaters at the shopping mall in Monterey, still have 'Casino Royale' prominently displayed as a major release weeks after it premiered, and it's still selling out. (the Fremont theater is ONLY showing 'Casino Royale' on its single screen, but still)

I'm thinking this means 'Casino Royale' is a big success. I think that's a good thing! I enjoyed the film a great deal. It's quite different from the rest of the series in a lot of ways; ways I'll be looking for and cataloging as I go through the "ultimate" James Bond DVD releases I picked up over the past month (they're the new ones in the shiny metallic boxes).

So, even though Pierce Brosnan is gone, and (for the moment) so are the crazy gadgets, Q, and signs of "spy movie goofiness," I think it's safe to say that Bond is Back, and in a Big way. I guess that's all that really matters, right?

It's Peanut Butter Trailer Time!

The Transformers (new trailer) - Bay might just be the guy for loud, dumb fun... and the 'bots do look pretty ripped.

300 (trailer 1b) - So, is this entire movie going to be shown in slo-mo? In any case, looking very stylish!

Fanboys - I caught this trailer on the Clerks II DVD, and it looks... well, right up our alley. Geeks that we are.

The Good German
Spider-Man 3
The Simpsons Movie (trailer 2)

I Cannot Wait To See This...

I am a sucker for post-apocalyptic tales (I'm flipping through Y: The Last Man on Drew's recommendation), and this film looks incredible — and has been getting excellent reviews: Children of Men trailer

A Christmas Story

So last Wednesday I took my youth group to see The Nativity Story — you know, Christmas and all. Third week of release, it hasn't been doing stellar box office, and the local theater bumped it down to one of their smaller screens, so I wasn't too worried.

However, I underestimated that this might be the type of film that got wildly more popular the closer to the 25th it got. We got a majority of our kids in, but the theater was packed. I myself had the unenviable third-row-going-blind seat, but hey, mission accomplished.

Then one of my teens came in and told me that the movie was now sold out, and two more of our teens were outside, unable to get in. What to do? What to do? With about ten of our adults still in the theater, another leader and I left, gave our tickets (and seats) to the teens outside so they could go in.

I've never felt more weird than having my entire youth group attend something that I got shut out of, but I'd like to think that we made the right choice there — no room in the theater and all.

A Man's Man

If you guys think Drew scarred you, wait till you see what I found when I was going through his vacation shots...

Brrrrrr...

Harry Potter VII

The book title's been announced: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

And Drew has scarred me for life.

Deck the halls with sharpened scalpels, bwa ha ha ha haaa... Ha HA ha HA.

Ya think that washes off, Drew?

Per your question, I was the person with her nose three inches from a plasticized preserved left pectoral at the Body Exhibit in Seattle. And other things besides pectorals. I feel the best way to visually process something in which I am truly interested is from a maximum of five inches away. At my last med school interview I was the only female candidate with her interview suit sleeves rolled up so I could poke at the cadaver they showed us. I am not at all uncomfortable expressing enthusiastic interest in dead folks.

....In a purely science-oriented way, of course. The corpses and I are just friends.

Watched most of MST3K: Jungle Goddess last night while lifting weights. There's not much point in reviewing an MST3K movie, but I do love them dearly.
Character on screen: "What's the matter, white goddess getting tired?"
Servo's retort: "What's the matter, white racist getting SMART?"

The Phantom Creeps shorts deserve their place in MST3K history, if only for supplying the often-used line in Bela Lugosi's accent, "This will simplify EVERYTHING!"

And on the mocap front, I got my first anim to play in Blender. It's pretty lousy. Friend Enigmatic and I are working to improve our grasp of keyframes.

Into the abyss...

And with this, I officially become one of THOSE people. You know. Bloggers. Despite my wife's addiction to about 8 dozen of them, I've managed to resist their shiny lure until now. Damn you, Justin! You know how many trips to the gym it'll take to wash all the nerd off me?

So anyway, tonight I called that friend of mine I mentioned in the Christmas Vacation review, just to wish him happy holidays before he flies home for Christmas, then on to Brazil. He was in the middle of packing, so I reminded him to bring plenty of banana hammocks for the Brazilian beaches. He laughed, but then told me he was considering it. My immediate reaction was, of course, "WTF?"... but then I thought about it after hanging up the phone and realized that reaction didn't make much sense. We're both ex-swimmers who voluntarily wore speedos every day for years; looking at it objectively, I can honestly say I could walk onto a beach wearing one and not feel the slightest bit uncomfortable.

Believe it or not, there IS a point to this, beyond making you picture that nasty mental image. (Remember: PoolMan wears a kilt. Almost as bad.) The question I pose is, what activites would you feel perfectly comfortable doing in public that most people would find absolutely mortifying and/or borderline inappropriate?

Why ARE They Putting Seatbelts In Theaters This Summer?

Current MRFH writing project: rushing to get a Star Trek V mutant viewing done before I have to leave town for Christmas. I haven't had this much fun with a viewing in a long time... since Star Wars Holiday Special, to tell the truth.

Motion Capture and You

Self, Sib1 and friend Enigmatic are trying to learn to mocap for Blender and 3ds Max. My plan is to get the new animations into Oblivion for the PC as part of my current mod project, Arachnalia. It's an ugly workaround, since Bethesda is highly resistant to modders for Oblivion and this is ESPECIALLY true regarding animations, but I think we can do it. I'd like to see some new combat anims and idles. Sib1 is a martial artist with knowledge of moves in a few different styles and is proving besides to be a fluid and convincing physical actor.

On the movie front, Sib2 and I have been trying to watch a copy of In the Mouth of Madness that I got from Netflix, but it freaks out on the hallucinatory scenes and crashes the dvd player. Eerie yet funny. I'm asking them for another copy today, since I would like to actually watch the film without going maaaaad.

The Sibs have also introduced me to Hellsing, which I'm finding far less obnoxious than I find most anime. (Hated Ghost in the Shell and Metropolis, refuse adamantly to watch Princess Mononoke.) Alucard is awesome, with his whole "I'm eight feet tall and wearing a ladies' hat and ribbon tie, yet I'm still cool" vibe. Unfortunately he is on screen far less than the little twit he keeps calling "Police Girl," who looks like a twelve-year-old with breast implants. Disturbing. I do like that the show skews more toward gore than rampant female-only nudity, however. When we get all the way through it I may just produce my first ever Spawn of the Screen review.

Sib2 says she won't watch let me watch Bones with her any more, though. I think she was annoyed by my raucous laughter.

Thank You, Drew

After posting your review on Christmas Vacation, I realized that I did not actually own it -- although I thought I did. Rectified this error as of this afternoon! And got rid of that lip fungus they haven't quite identified yet...

Welcome Staff!

Make yourselves at home... let's all have fun, tinker with this, and get a feel for how it'll work before letting the public in on our party.

World of Warcraft: New Opening Cinematic

Blizzard once again pulls out all the CGI stops on an incredible opening cinematic for The Burning Crusade expansion. Check it out!


The expansion pack comes out January 16.