Summer of Sequels!

Ever since Jaws ushered in the summer blockbuster season, filmmakers have tried their utmost to bring us gorgeous tales of majesty, acting par excellence, and intricate nuanced... nah, just joking, of course. It's summer after summer of big budget feasts for the eyes, full of special effects that labor to get your bucks without having to try very hard. It's a season that's also plagued with the most secure of moneymakers: the sequels.

I'd have to do some serious research back into previous years — and that I am loathe to do — but it's been whomping me over the head that 2007 will be witness to one of the greatest sequel bumper crops of the movie farming industry. So I thought it might be interesting to list them all and try to predict what we will be looking back at, come this September.

Spider-Man 3 (May 4): Spider-Man's a cash cow, no doubt, and with the same principle cast and crew, a much-loved villain (Venom), a natural end to the trilogy cycle, and the first serious contender for the summer blockbuster season... yeah, it'll do, piggie, it'll do. "Summer" blockbuster season keeps getting pushed back to an earlier start, because there's a point where we become a bit oversaturated with all of the releases and stop going (I'll call this mid-July).

28 Weeks Later (May 11): Eh. I love my zombie flicks, but the loss of the original director and leading stars adds to the feeling that this project is a bit of a stretch to recapture the intensity of the original. Plus, we just saw Children of Men, and post-apocalyptic London might be played out.

Shrek the Third (May 18): Another easy prediction, but Shrek and Spidey 3 will absolutely dominate May this year. Shrek's had a good run so far, and brings in the mega-bucks of cleanish family fun. Although I know I'll like it, I might not press myself to see it in theaters.

Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End (May 25): Huh... a huge sequel pretty much every week in May. Okay, I'm sure Shrek and Spidey might make room in bed for Captain Jack. We need our pirates!

Day Watch (June 1): The sequel to Night Watch, Day Watch won't be getting any huge advertising budget or release. Still, it's cool to finally see another chapter in this original (if overly messy) vampire epic.

Hostel Part II (June 8): Might bring in the summer horror dollars, but I have a feeling that Pirates will still be dominating at this point, and Hostel might've seen better numbers more toward an October release. Pass.

Ocean's 13 (June 8): Besides, this little number is coming out on the same day. Despite my feelings on Ocean's 12, the trailer for 13 seems to recall the cheeky fun of the original, and this is always an ensemble cast worth watching. Popcorn fun.

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (June 15): Post-Spidey superhero leftovers. The first was blah, this one looks blah, but will still make money because... well, that's what superhero flicks do.

Evan Almighty (June 22): The Jim Carrey-less sequel to Bruce Almighty, Steven Carrell is poised to make a possible summer comedy breakout hit. Or not. Give it 50/50.

Live Free or Die Hard (June 27): Call me crazy, but the fourth Die Hard is my must-see of the summer. Bruce Willis always has a blast tormenting his intelligent terrorists, and the trailer seems so over-the-top as to push us right back into believability.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (July 13): It just doesn't stop, does it? It's like they dragged every single franchise out of the closet and stuck them all in the same two month period. Anyway, you don't need me to tell you that Harry 5 will sweep the weekend, even if the director is as schmaltzy as Chris Columbus.

The Bourne Ultimatum (August 3): I know a lot of people love this James Bond-cloned series, but I've never been able to work up much of a like or dislike for it. It's there, it'll be released during the downward slope of the summer season, and it's another toss-up as to the quality and audience.

Rush Hour 3 (August 10): I didn't know they were even MAKING Rush Hour 3. Did you? Were you just not telling me? Eh, either way.

Halloween (August 31): Rob Zombie tries to reboot the Michael Myers franchise, and we couldn't care less.

So there you have it: 14 sequels by my count, and perhaps I missed a couple. How many will you be seeing?